Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Number 7 On My Summer To Do List

When I started this blog I contemplated whether or not to share some aspects of my life. I didn't want my blog to be defined by any one thing, so I shied away from one thing in particular that I didn't really want to share. But recently after a lot of prayer and thought I finally came to the realization that if I don't share no one will know what the Lord is doing for me and my husband, or the miracles He is performing in our lives. And He will perform miracles of that I am sure.
So here goes...

Kale and I have been trying for almost two years to have a baby. At first it was no big deal, but obviously over time I began to get concerned. I have cried more over the past year than I ever have. I have been angry, jealous, and down right mean at times due to the fact that we just can't seem to get pregnant. I have been very insecure about the whole thing and honestly until just recently I haven't opened up to many people about it. For some reason I wanted to keep it a secret like it was something bad and part of me kept thinking/ hoping that "this would be the month" and I wouldn't have to even share our struggle. Month after month nothing happened, so a couple of months ago I made an appointment with a new doctor. I also have come to a place where I can share and let others in. I know that there is a reason for this and some crazy plan that is best for us and our future family is in the works. I want people to know that no one else could have orchestrated it other that my Lord and Savior!!!
I have to be honest...sharing this is going to be very scary for me. I am the girl who takes care of everyone else and doesn't always let others take care of me...but I know that is one of the many reasons for this journey, to let go and trust in the Forever love of Jesus. I know that He is faithful and that His love endures forever and ever!!!! I will cling to that and his promises.
So, number 7 on my summer to do list hasn't been checked off yet, but then again summer is over !! ;0)

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